Tag Archives: roi


There seems to be a current craze in taking the standard abbreviation, R.O.I., and substituting another word for “Investment” to make a point.

For example, I have recently heard people talk or read articles about things such as: Return on Inspiration, Return on Innovation, and Return on Impressions. The points these speakers and writers made with the change were good. After all, changing the standard paradigm is a great way to get an audience to think in new ways.

But, I’m afraid. I think changing what R.O.I. stands for is about to jump the shark and become a business cliché. (Forget the fact that I regularly have to explain / spell out what R.O.I. actually means to people.)

But since it’s currently the hip trendy thing to do, I offer the following suggestions:

Return on Iceberg
Extra income for a restaurateur serving cheap salads.

Return on Ichabod
Washington Irving’s royalty check.

Return on Illustrator
Income of a logo designer.

Return on In-N-Out
Animal Style Double-Double. Animal Style Fries Well Done.

Return on IKEA
Acquired from assembling lingonberry flavored furniture.

Return on Iamb

Return on Interrobang
Is it hard to invent punctuation ‽

Return on Iridectomy
Priceless when you have a posterior capsular tear with vitreous loss.

Return on Inflation
Now is the time to BUY GOLD!!! Call for my free brochure!

Return on Infomercial
Ron Popeil’s second house.

Return on Impotence
Call your doctor if it returns more than four hours.

Return on Investment

Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Secret of My Success

Follow-up to my Pontiac Apprentice post::
The http://www.pontiac.com/apprentice link now forwards to a page that has the following text…

“The “Raise the Roof” promotion was a resounding success and has officially ended.”

450,000 visitors short of your goal is a resounding success?!

Meanwhile, AT&T is calling their “delivered” campaign that raised the ire and the eyebrows of the blogosphere a “success”. (via AdJab)

“With awareness tracking registering at 80 percent, the brand campaign’s new tagline “Your world. Delivered.” looks to be quite a success at five months into its run.”

You mean to say that 80% of people recognize a brand name that’s been in existence for 121 years? No Way!!

Tracking and effectiveness are sometimes the hardest things to deal with in marketing. Luckily, there’s an easy two step process to determine the success of any marketing campaign…
Step 1 – Look in the cash register.
Step 2 – Is there more money in there because of the marketing?
If the answer is ‘YES”, then you have a success. If the answer is “NO”, then it was a failure.

Customer traffic and sales are ALWAYS the clear indicators of marketing success. Now with a “branding” campaign like AT&T’s, you can cut a little slack because the ROI on branding will trickle in over the next several years…but still, there should be an immediate uptick in sales/inquiries.

Pontiac and AT&T have to sugarcoat the results of their marketing to placate investors and others in the organization. But with your marketing, make sure that you’re not fooling yourself with your “success”.