stupid tweets

I’m sure you find value in your Twitter stream. But among the constant golden nuggets of twitter-dom, there are ocasssionally some stinker tweets. Most of these come from wannabe gurus who feel they have to constantly “provide value to the community” so they wind up tweeting their idiocy.

The ones that get me the most are when something big has been happening for several hours and is already firmly entrenched as a trending topic.  Someone logs on and feels they need to be an “innovator” and help their poor “laggard” followers. For example: if gmail has been down for 5 or 6 hours, they would tweet this:

Whoa. I’m having trouble with my gmail acct. Something may be happening.

Related to that are the people discovering technology, but trying to act like a tech insider:

Just visited a WordPress blog and it gave me the ability to leave a comment at the bottom of the post. New feature?

Matt Foley wannabes:

Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

You gotta love people’s first tweet:

Trying out this new Twitter thing…

btw — I think a person’s first tweet should be:

@Watson! come here I need you!

T.M.I:

Good news: I get to leave the house today. Bad news: It’s to buy new catheter bags. (actual tweet!)

Crowdsourcing the mundane:

Anyone know how many toothpicks are in a standard box? has it traditionally been that number?

Spending the attention that I have given you to play some inane game:

I just ousted Cleatus as the Dog Catcher of Hooterville on Five Rhombus!

And sadly, I see this truly stupid one all the time…

Is Twitter down?

Did I miss some tweets that annoy you? Leave them in the comments. And if you want to see some really dumb tweets, you can follow me on Twitter @shotgunconcepts!

sadly, this is not a parody

One of the best indicators that you have a horrible idea is that people think its a joke.

Microsoft wants you to have Windows 7 launch party. This is not a joke.

PLEASE do not invite me to any such “party”. If I find out that you’re having such a party, I will call the cops to break it up. I would assume the police would find the idea of the party so disturbing that they would not hesitate to break out the tasers and clubs. You’ve been warned.

If you decide to ignore these warnings, do make sure your guest list includes an obvious forced diversity as Microsoft has done in their sample party video. If you can make it through the entire sample video without rolling your eyes or throwing up, then maybe you’re a good candidate for one of these parties.